I don’t have a cat, but I imagine that those of you who do could use a few ideas for New Year’s resolutions for your cats. So, I did a quick Google search and came up with a list of my favorites.
- I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.
- I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.
- I will not drag dirty socks up from the basement in the middle of the night, deposit them on the bed and yell at the top of my lungs (Burmese LOUD yowling) so that my human can admire my “kill.”
- I will not perch on my human’s chest in the middle of the night and stare into her eyes until she wakes up.
- Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
- I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
- I will not complain that my bottom is wet and that I am thirsty after sitting in my water bowl.
- When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.
- I will not teach the parrot to meow in a loud and raucous manner.
- When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are *not* a hammock.
- I will not walk on the keyboard when my human is writing important emiognaioerp ga3qi4 taija3tgv aa35 a.
- A warm pepperoni pizza is not a good place for a nap.
Good luck getting your cats to agree to these resolutions!
—Source: joke-archieves.com
